Community Conversations > Transgender Topics

Sex, gender, sexual orientation, dogma and double standards

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Kiera:

--- Quote from: zirconia on June 25, 2020, 06:07:06 AM ---My real question was why are questions pertaining to the subject generally met so defensively? And even hostilely?
--- End quote ---

      Quick, off the cuff speculation: because Blanchard is right? As "failed, male betas" they're in love with the IDEA of being "a woman" without any of the experiences or real sense of what that actually entails? In the "Early History of the Concept of Autogynephilia" (2005), which I haven't yet finished reading myself, Blanchard describes in narrative #11:

"The person I was looking for in a woman turned out to really
be me. I never found that person, except in myself"
which, contrary to APA's definition of "dissatisfaction with assigned gender role", suggests -> a intense dissatisfaction with the other gender role at large instead? Havelock Ellis (1928), in describing "Eonism", took "sexo-aesthetic inversion" one step further when concluding:

" . . embodying, in an extreme degree, the aesthetic attribute of imitation
of, and identification with, the admired object. It is normal for a man
to identify himself with the woman he loves. The Eonist
carries that identification too far."
idk just more java for thought . . When it comes to "trans" one cannot make generalizations about anything as long as there's resistance to any and all classification, or the buzzword being "diversity".

Complete:
I managed to delete my previous, rather lengthy response so here is the short version.
Once my body, (genitalia), had been surgically altered to conform with my brain/mind/soul/self-image....
My sexual attraction, (sexual target), accommodated itself quite comfortably to my current natural state.
I really, really like men. 😀😀😀😃😄

Dena:

--- Quote from: zirconia on June 25, 2020, 06:07:06 AM ---My real question was why are questions pertaining to the subject generally met so defensively? And even hostilely?

--- End quote ---
I can think of two reasons and they are opposite sides of the coin.

One day in group therapy our advisor  MTF was talking to some of the other member about the evils of smoking. Her attitude was so harsh that I asked myself why did she feel that way about it. The answer came to me fairly quickly so I said "you were a smoker, weren't you? I received no reply to my remark which I take as a verification that I was correct.

Quitting smoking is very difficult and do do so, a person has to find strong reason to do so. The reason is different from person to person but the reason is important to the person who successfully quits. They will reject other ideas because they cause doubt about their goals and doubt has the risk of failure. They know sticking to their own narrow view works so they reject different ideas because of the risk involved.

The other side of the coin is somebody so convinced that their idea is right. They are sure anything that disagrees with their view is wrong and will not look beyond their view point.

The proper way of handling ideas is the way you do it. You examine each idea to see if it's true or false. The false ones are discarded and the new ones are are incorporated into what you already know. It can be difficult because you might discover something you believed for a long time is wrong. It's something many people don't like to do because it takes them out of their comfort zone.

zirconia:

--- Quote from: Kiera on June 24, 2020, 06:08:18 PM ---Could that be because the whole basis of "attraction" between men and women is different in the first place? People talk about "loving the person" (not the sex) but I submit that's more a female trait dependant on how they make her feel whereas men tend to place more value on strictly "visual appearance", seeking out more tender/emotional qualities he obviously might not find in himself?
--- End quote ---

That sounds interesting... although I really can't grasp it right now. Isn't the other party's sex usually a given? It's only when transitioning comes to play that it becomes an issue. All I can say for sure is that for me the maleness of those to whom I'm attracted is probably the first thing that draws me. The security and strength... and the way they look at me and treat me.


--- Quote from: Kiera on June 25, 2020, 08:06:19 AM ---Quick, off the cuff speculation: because Blanchard is right? As "failed, male betas" they're in love with the IDEA of being "a woman" without any of the experiences or real sense of what that actually entails?
--- End quote ---

Similar to instant lesbianism? LOL.


--- Quote from: Kiera on June 25, 2020, 08:06:19 AM ---idk just more java for thought . . When it comes to "trans" one cannot make generalizations about anything as long as there's resistance to any and all classification, or the buzzword being "diversity".

--- End quote ---

Nice... I'm just drinking a final cup before some hard work...
Diversity defined as infinite makes it indefinable, and makes my head explode.
My brain protects itself by interpreting that definition as meaningless—but it still gives me hives.



--- Quote from: Complete on June 25, 2020, 12:52:52 PM ---My sexual attraction, (sexual target), accommodated itself quite comfortably to my current natural state.
I really, really like men. 😀😀😀😃😄
--- End quote ---

٩( ᐛ )و (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*



--- Quote from: Dena on June 25, 2020, 04:44:56 PM ---The proper way of handling ideas is the way you do it.
--- End quote ---

Thank you. That makes me feel warm and fuzzy... ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Kiera:

--- Quote from: zirconia on June 25, 2020, 06:28:51 PM ---Isn't the other party's sex usually a given? It's only when transitioning comes to play that it becomes an issue.
--- End quote ---
       lol A given? Not really, especially according to the "identityists" claims. Isn't "sex & gender totally unrelated"? So can we assume you don't consider yourself "gay or bi" either but, rather, a mainstream heterosexual as well? My therapist always used to propose a question in group that I supposed as "trick" : "If could choose only one which would be more
important to you, "acceptance" or "passing"?
     Well, I presumed it a trick q because while there's only one form of physically passing, and that implies acceptance but, as it relates to sexuality & orientation, neither is really a given. Obviously some can't muster to get over either bar which leads to the problem of how one would ultimately "fit" into a normal life within society. Redefine what constitutes "normal" and "society"?

    Indeed it seems trans people do face a double-whammy but I was always under the impression my transition was to resolve all those different "standards"? That compromise not only wasn't an option but the point, with all forms of "non-acceptance" to be avoided at all costs?

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