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Unfinished early morning ramblings... or, What is the meaning of "real?"
zirconia:
Karen,
Again, I do believe you speak out of good will. For that I thank you.
And I'm sure you have no idea of how your words feel to someone dying who needs what you deem so difficult in order to live. Before I saw the exit what you said might have driven me back into the silent, suffering hopeless heap that just waited for nature to take its course.
I'm glad they no longer have that effect... but they do vividly resurrect in detail the memory of the dread I felt. The hopelessness and desolation. The utter impossibility of living, because the only thing that would enable me do so was normalcy. Which, I was told, was not only out of reach but also unnecessary.
And... I do thank you also for the good wishes, and the warning that things won't be quite as I expect. I'm glad you care.
To tell the truth, though, all I have is a need, and no expectations beyond a hope. To live.
A hope that I hope will not be denied.
karen_A:
--- Quote from: zirconia on July 11, 2020, 09:40:14 PM ---To tell the truth, though, all I have is a need, and no expectations beyond a hope. To live.
A hope that I hope will not be denied.
--- End quote ---
I will close with a verse from a song from my youth:
--- Quote ---So I'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end
And flowers never bend
With the rainfall
--- End quote ---
Hope it works out for you. Really.
-Karen
Complete:
Karen. It makes me sad to say this, and so l hope you will not misunderstand my intent.
What you have quote above from one of your favorite, or at least, well remembered song, is a message of delusion and despair. I never went there. I'll pretty sure that is not where Zirconia is headed, and l sincerely hope that is not where you ended up.
My message to you and to those who have taken paths similar to yours is to be thankful for what you have and what you have achieve. Do not begrudge the accomplishment of others because as much as you might believe you do, you know little of their sacrifices made.
zirconia:
Complete,
Thank you. I'm glad you wrote... because I wondered whether I was the only one who read the words as you did.
And was at a loss as to whether to reply, or what.
Karen
While I do think it possible you quoted that refrain as encouragement, its true meaning in both context of the song and applied to real life clearly is as Complete indicates.
So... I must now hesitantly ask... Did you post the quote as encouragement?
Or as a final warning to not hold my hopes too high? While at the same time expressing your wish that you might be wrong in regard to what you believe my destination may be?
karen_A:
--- Quote from: zirconia on July 12, 2020, 03:48:45 PM ---
While I do think it possible you quoted that refrain as encouragement, its true meaning in both context of the song and applied to real life clearly is as Complete indicates.
--- End quote ---
I did not post enough of the song the first time for context for someone who does not know it. The last stanza before the chorus summarizes what it is meant to say:
--- Quote ---No matter if you're born
To play the king or pawn
For the line is thinly drawn 'tween joy and sorrow
So my fantasy
Becomes reality
And I must be what I must be and face tomorrow
So I'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end
And flowers never bend
With the rainfall
--- End quote ---
Which to me seems to encapsulate where you are coming from. Basically not worry about all that can go wrong and do what you feel you have to try and make things turn out right for you, in spite of everything.
It is by Simon and Garfunkel. It was something that made an impression on me when i was young and trying to survive a very difficult situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAvCfCBZaF4
-karen
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