Community Conversations > General Topics
Zirconia just joined the Susan's Permaban Club!
Kiera:
--- Quote from: zirconia on July 30, 2020, 11:03:51 AM ---This might prove interesting for all bulletin boards that edit or censor content.
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Found this as well a tad more "readable":
--- Quote from: Executive Order on Preventing Online Censorship Issued on: May 28, 2020 ---
In particular, subparagraph (c)(2) expressly addresses protections from “civil liability” and specifies that an interactive computer service provider may not be made liable “on account of” its decision in “good faith” to restrict access to content that it considers to be “obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, excessively violent, harassing or otherwise objectionable.” It is the policy of the United States to ensure that, to the maximum extent permissible under the law, this provision is not distorted to provide liability protection for online platforms that — far from acting in “good faith” to remove objectionable content — instead engage in deceptive or pretextual actions (often contrary to their stated terms of service) to stifle viewpoints with which they disagree.
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karen_A:
--- Quote from: zirconia on July 29, 2020, 07:45:21 PM ---
And... you were not by my side when I could do nothing but cry... but had you been, I hope I'm right in that you'd have said something other than what you've said during this conversation.
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While I am someone who tries not to be or sound cruel, I am someone who does not sugar coat things, either to myself or others. I say what I believe to be true, though I try to say it in a way that does not cause UNNECESSARY pain. And if it looks like what I say won't really be considered I don't bother, which why I did not go into what I mentioned earlier.
--- Quote ---So... if you feel any similarities between my thinking and Complete's are due to her being my master, I must gently repeat: You've acted more as such in this short while than she has during the entire time since we met.
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That is in the eye of the beholder, I guess, as I don't see things that way nor intended them to be.
--- Quote ---By the way... (and this question does stem from curiosity and laziness since I don't feel like searching for and joining those forums just for this) what percentage was motivated to transition by the need to have heterosexual sex? And how did they handle the situation before SRS?
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The ones for whom that was an immediate driving force were mostly pretty young (I have no idea how old you are... but for some reason I don't think you are in your early or mid 20's or younger), but it was not theonly factor... but a strong sex drive when young tends to be a significant push.
As to how they handled it, well all over the map. From refraining because they could not bear to be sexual with male genitalia , to finding a guy who could deal with such limitations, to finding one that could deal with the current physicality... And while some found men who would stick with them after SRS, it was not uncommon to hear that the guy loses interest and leaves after SRS regardless of what he said before... In any case some happy endings but lot's of heartbreak too...
One thing to remember, no matter the passion at first, long term sex is not the most important thing in a relationship... and it can make one emotionally very vulnerable.
Pre-op it's very complicated it seems. I would have never contemplated it pre-op... If my marriage had failed 20 years ago, and I had passed well enough i certainly would have explored that path in depth. What exploring i did before I knew the marriage would survive let me know ...
But as I implied above, for me sex is not the most important thing about a relationship. Having a deep emotionally intimate bond is more important than a physical one or having sex at all IMO.
-Karen
Christine:
--- Quote from: karen_A on August 02, 2020, 08:56:24 AM ---While I am someone who tries not to be or sound cruel, I am someone who does not sugar coat things, ether to myself or others. I say what I believe to be true, though I try to say it in a way that does not cause UNNECESSARY pain. And if it looks like what I say won't really be considered I don't bother, which why I did not go into what I mentioned earlier.
.
One thing to remember, no matter the passion at first, long term sex is not the most important thing in a relationship... and it can make one emotionally very vulnerable.
.
But as I implied above, for me sex is not the most important thing about a relationship. Having a deep emotionally intimate bond is more important than a physical one or having sex at all IMO.
-Karen
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@karen_A
Hi Karen, 02 August 2020
Thank you so much for your beautiful comments. Years ago, for me it was sex and only sex. Eventually, I figured out sex was only a very small part of a relationship. A Deep and Loving Emotional Bond is What Truly Matters the Most; it is What will Insure the Relationship Endures.
God Bless You Young Lady and Thank You Again!
Best Always, Love
Christine
zirconia:
Hi, Karen
--- Quote from: karen_A on August 02, 2020, 08:56:24 AM ---While I am someone who tries not to be or sound cruel, I am someone who does not sugar coat things, either to myself or others. I say what I believe to be true, though I try to say it in a way that does not cause UNNECESSARY pain. And if it looks like what I say won't really be considered I don't bother, which why I did not go into what I mentioned earlier.
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It's good to hear you don't sugar coat things. That's what put me so at ease about Complete. That—and of course the fact that she understood exactly how I felt and why. It felt amazing to talk with someone like that after listening to all the theory and dogma that overflowed on the forums.
--- Quote from: karen_A on August 02, 2020, 08:56:24 AM ---That is in the eye of the beholder, I guess, as I don't see things that way nor intended them to be.
--- End quote ---
Yes... it is in the eye of the beholder. The way you approach and explain things is very similar to how my favorite teacher led us to solve problems in class. But of course both he and we had the same textbooks. The main difference I feel is that in this case you have your thirty years of online experience to draw on, and I only my own story. Plus of course the confusion caused by the fact that it did not at all seem to match what I found on the forums.
--- Quote from: karen_A on August 02, 2020, 08:56:24 AM ---The ones for whom that was an immediate driving force were mostly pretty young (I have no idea how old you are... but for some reason I don't think you are in your early or mid 20's or younger), but it was not theonly factor... but a strong sex drive when young tends to be a significant push.
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Hmmmm.... interesting. I only felt antipathy toward sex until I was prescribed estradiol. While men had approached me before, and it did feel nice I hadn't even seriously thought of responding. But that changed Very Quickly... LOL.
--- Quote from: karen_A on August 02, 2020, 08:56:24 AM ---As to how they handled it, well all over the map. From refraining because they could not bear to be sexual with male genitalia , to finding a guy who could deal with such limitations, to finding one that could deal with the current physicality... And while some found men who would stick with them after SRS, it was not uncommon to hear that the guy loses interest and leaves after SRS regardless of what he said before... In any case some happy endings but lot's of heartbreak too...
--- End quote ---
That sounds not too different, then. I'm glad to say that even throughout passion I've been treated very gently and considerately. Although I must not be the only one frustrated by the inability to consummate. Still... my body sings just thinking of every touch.
But, once again, it's getting ever harder to retain the boundaries. And that's mainly what I was interested in hearing about.
--- Quote from: karen_A on August 02, 2020, 08:56:24 AM ---One thing to remember, no matter the passion at first, long term sex is not the most important thing in a relationship... and it can make one emotionally very vulnerable.
--- End quote ---
To me the combination of vulnerability and feeling of absolute safety is what makes it so lovely. But of course that's just me.
--- Quote from: karen_A on August 02, 2020, 08:56:24 AM ---Pre-op it's very complicated it seems. I would have never contemplated it pre-op... If my marriage had failed 20 years ago, and I had passed well enough i certainly would have explored that path in depth. What exploring i did before I knew the marriage would survive let me know ...
But as I implied above, for me sex is not the most important thing about a relationship. Having a deep emotionally intimate bond is more important than a physical one or having sex at all IMO.
--- End quote ---
Hmmmm... now that my body's awakened, I really can't imagine not needing sex. But from what I've heard, with the right partner it does develop into an even more deep thing... not merely physical, but something even more fulfilling. I hope I'll find someone who can give me that, and to whom I can also offer the same. Even now, even knowing that the love I've experienced cannot be permanent or even lasting, the closeness is incredible. I can only imagine what it may be like once I'm made whole.
Complete,
I think I may understand Karen some. What she describes sounds a bit similar to what I felt like before hormones. I saw both girls and boys as just friends... some closer than others. The really close ones felt as close as family... but with no real sexual motivation on my side. Although I could perform if I really felt I needed to to make the other person happy. But I didn't at all understand erotic attraction. The maleness of my body revolted me.
So the closeness had to be emotional. Since my body was wrong, even if the other party was attracted to me it could never truly be physical.
It always comes back to the fact that we all are different, doesn't it? Some are not at all into sex, and some are. I'd never have believed how much I like belonging to the second group until it actually happened... LOL
Removed Quote from Complete's deleted post - Edit by Christine 03 Aug 20
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