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Musings of a Second Type

      Thought best to sport a link to my blog(s) rather than just post all here. I have had one *FOREVER*, well since 2006 anyway, but because it was never made "public view" the DISORDER is now quite obvious for everybody else to see. At some point, now unsure why, had that "other site" change my username to "Chloe" which I did on my site as well but then I thought, having also simply replaced the original "Kiera", why not just start *anew*?

      I shall hereby make an attempt to "publish" too because . . . the "forum thing" has not only gotten quite old but still 'ave some FIXING to do on mine as well. I've always liked to keep my thoughts private but, at some point, one needs to come out of one's "Comfort Shell"! (And a thought that has been on my mind these last couple of HOLIDAYS):

A quote from The Misanthrope Alcest:

“Betrayed and wronged in everything,
I’ll flee this bitter world where vice is king,
And seek some spot unpeopled and apart
Where I’ll be free to have an honest heart.”
And that "honest heart" is our untainted children for sure!

[ Unsure still how to deal with "comments", suppose as I post "links to" here comments made here ok as well? But of course! There is a comment area there but one has to be "registered" as always been wary of allowing "guests" to post. You figuring out what's best for you is quite ok . . . or just not at all! ]


--- Quote from: Complete on May 10, 2020, 09:10:47 PM ---What l find of interest, or at least of note is that l didn't learn about it until decades after my srs.
--- End quote ---

Haven't seen the "Indian Tribes" either am currently on pg 67 only . .

--- Quote from: '51 Male Transsexuals and the Results of their Operations' ---By the end of 1964, a total of 249 male transvestites were observed in my offices, either in New York or in San Francisco. Of these, 152 were diagnosed as transsexuals
--- End quote ---

      As may have already mentioned I was 9, living in the "pine barrens" of New Jersey, in 1966 when Benjamin first published his work. After a short high school stint in Florida I then moved in 1973 to a suburb of NYC to be with my father but it wasn't until late '78, by then already in a longstanding gay high school romance, that I then discovered Nancy Hunt's book and the true meaning behind what I had been feeling/experiencing all along . . .

lol and it's all been downhill since then?

       Of course THAT is with the exception of a twenty-year marriage from hell? By then had heard of the Benjamin name but tell myself perhaps it was just as well given the "hit-and-miss" success rate of early SRS surgeries? Besides, Lord Knows I would have 'prolly easily caved at the least bit/hint of professional scrutiny/discouragement and thus chose to please my father by accepting a starting position at a premier World Airways instead!

(Note new sig! A narrative line from Hector Berlioz' opera "Lélio", a sequel to his "Symphonie Fantastique", that epitomizes the  romantic power of the musical "Idée fixe" (and the suicidal inability to irradicate it?). When played very forte have found London Symphony to be best! Considered a "National Hero" Berlioz was on the paper 10-franc note until 1979 along with many others)

Kiera, is there a story to your avatar image?


--- Quote from: Maddie on May 16, 2020, 12:38:02 PM ---Kiera, is there a story to your avatar image?
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        I'm pretty sure it's Vanya Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy. As a student of history, philosophy and music who's mostly lived the indulgent life of her character brother Klaus suppose the dark mood and violin case both represent my love of music, Romantic themes, and sense of tragedy? The umbrella must be obvious, therapist Erin asked same question, it's what I've hidden under for the last 40 years in that imaginary world of "transgender" or whatever it is that people think that means?

        I've been "out" for quite a while now, just 'bout everyone who matters "knows", but it's pretty much still unspoken as I continue to just nominally present "as me"! Am waiting for someone to correct, direct me "to be" otherwise? Unexpectantly ran into a "men's church group" friend at Walmart the other day and, during Zoom meet later online, he says "hey [boyname] quite the shorts your wearing certainly shaking it" to which, surprising myself, I replied . .

" ;) why thanks Jeff so glad SOMEONE notices!"
Well lol "My Life" in a nutshell! Living in The Conservative Bible Belt like I do am SENIOR, older than all of 'em (better health too?) but, being accepted and well-liked, isn't THAT what really counts?

(ps: had news today gonna be a GRANDPARENT again, close encounter for the fourth time! All live nearby so mucho baby-sitting for sure we got one, 4, going on 5 and now a Christmas baby hatching too? I 'ave an order in for "another boy" yea yea i know don't count too soon!)

"Pushing past the limit tripping on hallucinogenics"
"Go find yourself a man who's strong and tall and Christian"
(click line below to expand lyrics)


--- Quote from: Christine on May 16, 2020, 08:18:23 PM ---Thanks for showing us your beautiful Stang
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      @Christine, *sigh*, don't 'ave that car anymore (stock photo actually is "for sale") was forced to give it up when I moved from Florida to my father's in 1974 . . and it was a 351 "Windsor" which is now considered "large block" (5.8liter), same size used in ex-spousy's '96 E-150 conversion van (sans the fuel injection of course).

       Sorry to give the wrong impression, been "pretending" too long, besides I'm more into boats these days my 1964 Pacemaker had (again past tense!) twin '68 427 Chevys and grandma's 1983 Havasu City Arizona boat, which IS in backyard, has what's called a 229ci Cobra Jet V6 stern drive?

We definitely camp & play in smaller Georgia lakes these days!

       Speaking of "pretenders" (My City is Gone) not only do I NOT correct people but find that they don't apologize anymore when supposedly "misgendering" me? Was in Kroger this AM buying milk & coffee and the very nice older lady "checkout helping" caught me by surprise when, upon chatting 'bout stuff, she started to refer to "my husband"?

lol Always Makes My Day And actually had this short Mexican guy, very clear English, try and "pick me up" in Walmart parking couple weeks back . . lol Again I thanked him for the compliment but, sorry, NOT TODAY!

       Am adding new meaning to the word "detransition"? Insist on nominally dressing one's birth gender (although don't do that really as my "clothing labels" are all definitely feminine dept) and allowing others to ASSUME, make the mistake instead - as in detransitioning "to female"? Cowardly I know but, hey, it's a mental leap that works for me! )

(ps: and, btw, I seriously question this forum's certain "older crowd" attitude . . Is this oft-mentioned *haughtiness* really becoming of a girl, "a lady"? Seems the chief difference I see between THEN and NOW is this whole idea' fixed of what it exactly means to be "a woman" has changed . . wholly abandoning from each/to each according to one's ASSIGNED male/female place"? )

TERF? A feminist? Yuck! Sorry perhaps it's just me, the Southern "Manners" Thing of acting helpless, in order to make another feel important, when really not? Find ALL to be rather "unbecoming" at best!

All our experiences ARE different and that includes "values" as well?


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