Corrupt A Wish!

[Jamiesaurus Rex]

In this game, you wish for things. However, the genie is a jerk and grants your wish in a way that goes very badly for you. Each poster must grant the previous poster’s wish in a twisted way and then wish for something else. For example:

Person 1: I wish for a pizza.

Person 2: Granted. You are baked into a pizza.
I wish for a million dollars.

Person 3: Granted. You get a million dollars. In quarters. Air-dropped onto you.
I wish for a puppy.

So I will start. I wish for a kitten.

[Jamiesaurus Rex]

Granted. You can afford to have GCS done by an unlicensed back-alley “doctor” who prefers using a rusty chainsaw instead of a scalpel.

I wish I could fly.

[Jamiesaurus Rex]

Granted. However, you can’t control it and you keep going invisible at the worst possible moments. So you keep getting trampled by people whenever it’s crowded and get hit by cars when crossing the street.

I wish I had a pet dinosaur.

[mariah]

granted, except all of your food now is turned into fresh vegetables and they have left you nothing with to eat.

I wish I could get get more sleep.

Granted, but it easily becomes tangled and matted.

I wish I could get my bearded dragon to eat fresh vegetables.

[Jamiesaurus Rex]

Granted. You now make snap decisions about everything, and the first thing you decide to do is drive your car off a 1000-foot cliff.

I wish I had a perfect hourglass figure.

[Jamiesaurus Rex]

I wish for fish.

[MaryT]

Granted, but you transitioned into a real macho man

I wish I would have lots of money

Granted but inflation is at 2 million percent p.a. and you have to spend it all on your last loaf of bread.

I wish that people would be more polite.

[MaryT]

Granted. You are an infant, and with no parents, are a ward of the state.

I wish puppies were easier to potty train.

Granted, but now they use the bathroom toilet whenever you need it yourself.

I wish that I had a handsome boyfriend.

[MaryT]

Granted, but he is an abusive A-hole. You have to have him arrested within the first day, because he puts you in the hospital with life threatening injuries.

I wish I wasn't able to come up with that response so quickly.

Granted but you become lessened by losing empathy for others who suffer in the same way.

I wish that I could be a nice genie.

[MaryT]

Granted!  But deciding what you want takes up time, so on the first occasion that you stop time, your decision-making processes also stop, so you never want to restart time.

I wish that I could buy a prepared sandwich without mayonnaise. 

[MaryT]

Granted.  But as is said to happen with chameleons, you try out your new power on a tartan kilt and explode.

[Kiera]

I wish I had female size 8 feet.

ok GRANTED but in changing your shoe size . .
we're gonna {+}or{-} the difference, also in "feet", of how short/tall you are!

Wish could just *transplant mind* into the female body boys really want.

[MaryT]

Granted.  But as is said to happen with chameleons, you try out your new power on a tartan kilt and explode.

@MaryT you forgot to make your wish. As soon as you do I'll grant it...so make it a good one.

Lexxi

It serves me right for feeling smug when I intervened on behalf of someone else who forgot to make a wish. 

Granted. Now you're sick between noon and 6 AM every day instead.

I wish my transition from male to female was complete

Granted.  By anyone's standards, you are the perfect woman.  Unfortunately, your admirers include hundreds of creepy stalkers.

I wish that I liked tomatoes.