Author Topic: Day to day life of someone not yet complete...  (Read 328 times)

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Offline zirconia

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Re: Day to day life of someone not yet complete...
« Reply #20 on: May 22, 2020, 01:54:06 PM »
I woke up too early and can't seem to get back to sleep... so I guess I might as well try to write down some of what twirls through my head.


I was unsure when I went to receive my diagnosis whether the doctors would require me to also undergo the RLT/RLE. After all, I was already categorized as female unless I corrected the impression. And I'd already completely given up doing that a year before.

So... I hoped to get an immediate referral to surgery... and when told they had to require it I was disappointed.

But I've found the RLE to be like a walking cane to someone recovering from an injury. Helpful although unwished for. After all, I hadn't ever truly lived as a woman. Rather, I'd lived enveloped in fear, revulsion, despair, and forlorn hope. Knowing what people saw me as and repelled by what I thought my destination would be should I give in and accept it. And some of the fear still remained.

I need to be made whole... more than anything I can think of. But these months have helped dissolve the remaining traces of that fear. Meeting my friend's daughter yesterday made me realize how much more... free, happy, and safe I guess... I now feel to accept how people see and interact with me. And it's getting more so by the day.


Yes, I know I could have managed without this acclimation period... after all nothing concrete has changed. But ridding myself of the remaining shackles while also recuperating physically would probably have been more stressful.

Rather than an ordeal these months have felt like a convalescence. A time after the suffering has abated but one is still recovering... and during which one has time to think, wonder and make plans for the future.


I'll try to sleep just a bit more now...
Good night, everyone...

Edit: Clarity, accuracy
« Last Edit: May 22, 2020, 05:27:03 PM by zirconia »

Offline Complete

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Re: Day to day life of someone not yet complete...
« Reply #21 on: May 22, 2020, 06:01:07 PM »
I read this real time experience of someone actually living this experience as  she writes about it. Can it get any more real?
What strikes me is that l have nothing to say. I have no experience in this protocol, this required real life experience.
I completely missed out on that experience. The idea of RLE never came up. What was of interest, or rather the focus of my attention, was the logistics. How to pay for the surgery, (a small fortune), or.....the price of a moderately priced new or late model used car. A fair chunk of change no doubt, but doable. Travel, housing, aftercare, etc.
Nevertheless, the concept of RLE makes sense. For those who are not absolutely sure, drop dead sure, this RLE is an absolute necessity.

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But ridding myself of the remaining shackles while also recuperating physically would probably have been more stressful.

Another very notable advantage, is cleaning out all the "before".