Author Topic: A Sad State of Affaurs  (Read 2608 times)

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Offline Complete

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A Sad State of Affaurs
« on: May 15, 2020, 04:05:28 PM »
So l ran across a typically depressing interaction between an older, long term post-op, and the rather homogenous denizens of your rather typical "trans support" group or forum.
You can read the whole thing for your self here:[https://transrefuge.org/index.php?threads/where-did-the-concept-of-gender-dysphoria-come-from-long-read.822/]

The gist of the exchange goes something like this:
"Hi. I thought l'd drop in, say hello, and offer some possibly interesting information"
"Oh by the way, l started hormones at 17 and had my srs at 25."
RESPONSE from moderators and other VERY RECENT transitioners:
"You're welcome here but ONLY if you adhere you our standards of "acceptable" behaviors.
As well as the typically tiresome, "Oh! You're just like me except for....."coulda, woulda, shoulda".
Is it any surprise that an old acquaintance, a fathomless fountain of experience and information found better things to do than become embroiled in worthless arguments over the meanings of such amazingly complex concept like male or female, or what it means to transition from male to female....and what that might entail.
As might be expected, the self appointed alpha dogs, those fathers and grandfathers, with a year or two since their Great Awakening, drove the wise old woman off with shouts and barks of disdain and disparagement.
"How dare that uppity woman tell us old men how "to be a woman!"

Offline Dena

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2020, 04:36:04 PM »
My attempts at training were completely rejected and they are so uptight about me that if I peek at the site with my DSL connection, they place a ban on me as a guest. Guests bans are a little more effective and I need to get another IP address if I want to peek again. It gets a little tiresome so I am now turning off the WiFI on my cell phone and peeking with my untraceable cell phone to see what's up. I haven't seen that conversation because I tend to spend as little time as possible on the site. Besides that I only have a 3GB data plan so I want to be careful not to exhaust it.

If they aren't careful with their bans, they could end up taking out several states worth of potential members just to prevent me looking as a guest. They do the same for Christine and she has a far larger poll of IP addresses to chose from. They could block out a sizable portion of the world with their silly bans. I have no intention of returning to the site unless it's with my own account so IP bans don't really accomplish anything other than attempt to hide what I already know.

Age isn't always a sign of maturity and somebody who thinks they know better probably doesn't. It's always best to hear somebody out before passing judgement because you just might learn something you didn't know.
Email contact through dena@transhaven.org

Offline Maddie

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2020, 04:53:09 PM »
Sorry I'm just an old man in my 40s..  I was on that thread. But I deleted my own post yesterday which is why it's not on there now.
I worked closely for a long time with a 30+ year post op woman, and I wish so much we were closer. We were friends.  I saw in her example how someone could be partners with a man in a relationship and society.  It was like I knew she was s transexual, but she was never ever anything but a woman to my mind. The few other transexuals I met (prior to this past decade) all ended badly.
My friend only "came out" to me when i told her about me.  When I did it, I still didn't realize how widespread this has gotten and how my existence might affect her.

She probably feels about me the way you feel about this. Maybe not.  Maybe you're her.
I'm going to try calling her again tonight.

I'll listen to you and try not to insert my envy.
Head up moving forward

Offline Complete

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2020, 08:10:51 PM »
Hi Maddie. I don't know how well you know me, but one thing l can tell you is that l am loathe to offer advice...especially to those l know nothing about.
In an effort to get some context, l read all your earlier posts on this site.
What struck me was your efforts to transition started(?) in 1992....
And..."Referred to gender program in 1999 but it was different, and besides I had to find my own way. This took a while, but it's good."
What does this mean? Twenty years have past. What happened!?!

Offline Dena

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2020, 11:06:23 PM »
Ok, lets start fresh and make this the first day of the rest of your life. First thing to do is google "wisconsin medicaid transgender surgery". It looks like surgery shouldn't be an issue if you're still in Wisconsin. Like you, I had a run of doctors who didn't help much though you had it much worst than I did. The reason that happens is because of the lack of information you need to move forward. If you're having a problem, ask use for help. We might not know the answer but maybe we can tell you where to find it. We are a team and the goal is to get you over the line.

Yes, you're not young any more but you still have many years ahead of you. I know it's difficult for you to understand but there is a feeling that comes over you after surgery where you know you made the right decision. Often you see it in the faces of others after their surgery. They have a smile that says they are truly happy for the first time in their life and it just gets better from there. I know you have waited a long time for this but don't give up.

Keep us posted on your problems and successes so we know how to help you. Also, let me know if there is anything I can help with as I am available pretty much everyday.
Email contact through dena@transhaven.org

Offline Christine

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2020, 11:21:47 PM »
Hi @Maddie                     15 May 2020

I'm not one to give a lot advice about Transgender subjects. Oh, I can say quite a bit about Orchiectomies; I had one and had done quite a lot of research on them before I had mine. I can tell most anyone a lot about them ... if they ask.

I'm very appreciative of your post about the difficulties you have had to face and overcome. The fact that you can talk about them here shows you are headed in the right direction. You are not too old nor is it too late for you to transition. Here I am, less than 3 months from being 80; that's not a typo, I'll be Eighty soon.

I have been dressing and presenting female for the last 8+ years and no one ever said anything. People just don't care anymore; they have other things to think about. I have found a smile works wonders. I shop for all of my clothing in the woman's department. When I ask a sales person for help I tell them up front I am Transgender. All of a sudden they treat me better than I have ever been treated when I was a male. I dress in very feminine clothing and wear colors that are obviously female; I like pink, fuchsia, lavender, and many pastels. I get compliments from women and men. I Like it and it makes me feel great.

I don't have all the answers; Dena is the expert and will be happy to answer your questions and give you great advice. We are lucky we have Complete here; she's another source of valuable information and advice.

I'm grateful we don't have Katie, Linde, Lexxi, Jessica and OZgirl on this site. Those clowns, who haven't 15 years of experience between them, are giving out advice to members that have 20 years experience all their own. Who do they think they are and by what stretch of the imagination do they think they are qualified? It starts at the top with Katie and filters down to the rest of the self styled "EXspurts."

The best advice I can give you is to be who and what you want to be. Smile a lot because it is infectious; you will bring smiles to others.

Take care Maddie; remember, this site belongs to you and all the members. Dena and I are here to facilitate it and to be sources of help to all of you. May the Good Lord Bless you young lady.

Best Always, Love

Christine
Worrying Never Makes It Better.
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Offline Christine

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2020, 11:44:00 PM »
.
As well as the typically tiresome, "Oh! You're just like me except for....."coulda, woulda, shoulda".
.
"How dare that uppity woman tell us old men how "to be a woman!"


Hi @Complete,                   15 May 2020

I KNOW you weren't talking about the "Head Internet Mogul" on the "Katie and Linde Sheet Show." I don't think there is a thread on that site that hasn't been Pirated by those two clowns. They account for more than a third of the posts on that site, which is shameful.

Thank you for recognizing the arrogance of those two inept clowns.

Best Always, Love and God Bless You

Christine
Worrying Never Makes It Better.
Contact:
Christine@transhaven.org

Offline Elisabeth

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2020, 12:16:30 AM »
Thanks Complete for recognizing my situation “over there” and pointing me in this direction.

You have succinctly summed up the situation and precisely captured my sentiment in the matter. My response to middle-aged individuals months into transition being just like me because they knew they were a girl at two would have been somewhat similar to the things you’ve said here and it would not have gone over well even if I had been a little less direct and more polite. Co-opting a story like mine into a completely different narrative because it sounds more legitimate gripes TF out of me when you know nine out of ten times they were typical rough and tumble normal little boys and nobody had a clue.

There are some things you just can’t say and with that mindset and knowing I was only going piss people off and be frustrated, I just said F it.

Then there was the fawning over being a trans kid with supportive parents and transitioning in my teens and all the envious wishing they could have had a life like mine and how lucky I was followed by the coulda, woulda, shoulda why they didn’t. A little acknowledgment of my good fortune is fine. Trying to imagine your life like mine is delusional.

People seem to think being a trans child with understanding parents is something to idolize, is easy and everything is handed to you on a platter and it‘s true I had some advantages but with undeveloped minds and emotions, kids can be horrible little monsters full of hate without filter and it’s not the easy-breezy cakewalk most seem to imagine. Picture this in the 1960s and tell me how much fun you think it was or you that would have done it. In 1970 I was nearly killed for it.

You know, in today’s transdom, speaking of such things and having such opinions is often thought to be anti-trans TERF-ish transphobia, that someone making these comments thinks they’re better than everyone else or more trans than thou or that we’re all self-hating tranners that can’t deal with or own internalized transphobia.

F that too!  ;)

"Oh by the way, l started hormones at 17 and had my srs at 25."

That’s not really remarkable, the fact that I was 17 in 1972 kind of is.  BTW, I was 22 when I had SRS. That was 43 years ago in 1977.

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"How dare that uppity woman…!"

Uppity woman indeed!  8)

Offline Maddie

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2020, 05:53:43 AM »
Dena, Complete, everyone,
I'm going to try and copy my posts and put them somewhere else that might be more appropriate.
I feel like an intruder to this particular subject and don't want to be. Thank you for asking, and hope you find it.
Elisabeth thank you for sharing part of your story.  It is more than remarkable, it's revelatory.
Head up moving forward

Offline Complete

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #9 on: May 16, 2020, 08:09:35 AM »
Elisabeth!!!!😃😃😃😃  I'm so happy you've joined us. We are a small but merry band.
I apologize for my faulty math but l have finally figured out we are about 5 years apart agewise and totally different in our backgrounds. And that's GREAT. WE have grown up in roughly the same time frame and other than that we are totally different. And that is totally great too!
You asked: "Picture this in the 1960s and tell me how much fun you think it was or you that would have done it. In 1970 I was nearly killed for it"
That is a great question and one l have often asked myself. Would l have done what you did? No. Not only could l not have done it, but given the circumstances, and a choice, and the wisdom, (which l didn't), to make that choice, that is knowing what l know now, l probably would have chosen to wait....and even then, given my druthers, l would only have *chosen* to do so at around age 14-16, BUT ONLY IF, l could have done so anonymously....for those exact reasons that you point out. You almost got killed.
Believe me. I came of age in the 50's. I started college in '65 and things were VERY different then.
We were both, very, VERY lucky.

Offline Elisabeth

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #10 on: May 16, 2020, 03:58:08 PM »
We were both, very, VERY lucky.

Indeed we were. At least when opportunities did open up for you, you took advantage of them as quickly as you could.

I had no real idea or concept of what being transsexual was when I was growing up nor anyway like now, even the words to describe it. I just knew who I was and that was not a boy. It wasn’t until I was 17 and was told I was one of “those people” before I became to have some understanding why I was the way I was and then I had something to begin looking into.

Back then, (1972-1973), that meant going to the main public library downtown to try and look stuff up. There was actually information out there but what I found was mostly psychiatric journals and medical texts with scary pictures. Transsexuals were all aberrant deviant homosexual transvestites that mutilated themselves which really started to make me wonder if that’s what I really was because I wasn’t really any of those things. I was just a dumb girl. I also learned that what you were supposed to do was give up all your family, friends and careers and move to a totally new place where no one knew you and you could be anonymous. I often came home from these “educational experiences” upset, nauseous, depressed and confused.

Because, I was just a dumb kid in high school, there was no way I could move away and start my life over and I wondered what this meant for me? Outside of school, I had already been living as a girl for a couple of years and couldn’t imagine not living with my mom and step-dad or seeing my aunts, uncles or cousins. For a while I thought I had to give all that up and disappear to have a “sex change”. It didn’t take me long to just say screw all that and live my own life terms.

Offline Complete

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #11 on: May 16, 2020, 06:40:07 PM »
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l had no real idea or concept of what being transsexual was when I was growing up nor anyway like now, even the words to describe it. I just knew who I was and that was not a boy. It wasn’t until I was 17 and was told I was one of “those people” before I became to have some understanding why I was the way I was and then I had something to begin looking into.

Yes....pretty much the same here: NO CLUE, but.....l knew who I was, and who l would grow up to be. My search began in the library "stacks" where one search through index cards to find the coding and location of anything having to do with sex change or transsexual. I found two references; Lili Elbe, circa 1937 and Christine Jorgensen, 1954.
Not very promising. Nevertheless....
I really don't think rehashing ancient history is helpful, or even relevant.
I don't even think that how we dealt with our problems is helpful or relevant.
What l do think might be helpful is responding to the many pleas for help and/or guidance. There is so much pain an pathos on these forums it is almost unbearable. I don't have any answers. Those answers lie with those who are dealing with them.
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I also learned that what you were supposed to do was give up all your family, friends and careers and move to a totally new place where no one knew you and you could be anonymous. I often came home from these “educational experiences” upset, nauseous, depressed and confused.
I can see where that would pretty daunting. Fortunately l missed that memo, and once l had been pulled back from the brink of self destruction, l ran towards the light like my life depended on it, which it did.
I made it. It was not easy. It was painful and there were period of incredible darkness and despair. I left my entire life, (what there was of it) behind, sold everything l owned and after a very long hard and painful year, l returned to my home city as a completely new and reconstructed young woman. Quite remarkable really. Some might even call it a miracle.

Offline Elisabeth

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2020, 03:04:27 AM »
I really don't think rehashing ancient history is helpful, or even relevant.
I don't even think that how we dealt with our problems is helpful or relevant.

Well then, let me bask in my irrelevance and unhelpfulness!

I do know some people are actually interested what we (trans people) and things were like back in the day and I think these stories need to be shared straight from the horse’s mouth so to speak so the new crop of tranners know some history and what it was like for those that came before them. (Damn! Did I just call myself a horse? :P) As far as recent experience or advice to give about trans stuff, I have little to offer and wouldn’t be a good person to give it anyway. Hell, I can't even keep my own sh!t in order.  ;)

Quote from: Complete
What l do think might be helpful is responding to the many pleas for help and/or guidance. There is so much pain an pathos on these forums it is almost unbearable. I don't have any answers.

Well then how do you respond? You’ve said yourself you’re not very good about giving advice either and I’ll say this constructively… I’m not sure many find calling out ridiculous trans behavior and the more stupid aspects of the ideology as your standard go-to to be very comforting, if being comforting is your intent? You can be a bit acerbic at times, (said as a friend who isn't much better).

Not saying for a second that I’m not a bit caustic as well and maybe even most of the time or that I don’t have the same opinions and don’t do the exact same thing or that people don't find me often offensive but in some ways you’re almost a bigger TERF than I am!  ::)

Okay maybe not TERF? I've made up a new acronym: TRACT - Transgender Radical Activism Critical Transsexual

Okay, pot calling the kettle black here. I just don't want you and I to run people off because we can be so critical at times. I think we both want to be helpful but are we or are we rabble-rousers and instigators?

Your thoughts?


Offline Maddie

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2020, 08:09:39 AM »
There are people who don't look female enough to have worked this successfully before, who want to exist too and they don't want to hide.
Gangs are safety.  Not everyone can be  top dog.  Or a lone wolf
Some of these people seem to,  despite whatever conflicts or whatever they were feeling, were still able to function, create, control, and exert authority in this world. As men.  Once into a vulnerable place they try to enforce/fight whatever they percieve as being against them or their beliefs., They are invoking these powers.  But to what end? 
What consequence to others who don't share their thinking or experience but might (probably) be categorized as same?
Have loud group voices like these  helped make procedures more accessible? 
Or are they just inspiring future round ups and internments in retaliation?

I attended an event in Madison WI USA.
Hordes of people sitting on their butts strangely snapping their fingers (applauding?) someone beautiful from TV who was born a boy.  Based on their current expression, this person could keep their mouth shut and few would ever know.
An inspiring symbol.  For people who are insisting on being called things that they are not and do not resemble.

What will the Chinese robots say?

It occurs to me that I might already be dead.
Head up moving forward

Offline Complete

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #14 on: May 17, 2020, 10:34:53 AM »
Well then, let me bask in my irrelevance and unhelpfulness!

I do know some people are actually interested what we (trans people) and things were like back in the day and I think these stories need to be shared straight from the horse’s mouth so to speak so the new crop of tranners know some history and what it was like for those that came before them. (Damn! Did I just call myself a horse? :P) As far as recent experience or advice to give about trans stuff, I have little to offer and wouldn’t be a good person to give it anyway. Hell, I can't even keep my own sh!t in order.  ;)
Lisa, you and I go back long enough to know we are both good hearted irreverent, irrascable and irredeemable critics of what we like to call the transgender mantra: The Holiest of Holy Words of "Wisdom" to which we must all adhere. That said, my comments were self directed, NOT at you.
IMHO, the reason you are such a font of wisdom, and knowledge, and understanding....is that you have done the research that l have not. You actually met Benjamin. He saved your life.
Yes. At the time your were an incredibly conflicted kid, (weren't we all), but you actually lived through that experience.....and LIVED to tell about.  There is nothing irrelevant or unhelpful about that. It provides the rest of us a clear picture of what a Type VI must endure, and why so few survive to tell the true story......so much of which has been lost to urban myth. Don't you EVER think that l consider you unhelpful or irrelevant or you will have a serious "re-education" on your hands.

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Well then how do you respond? You’ve said yourself you’re not very good about giving advice either and I’ll say this constructively… I’m not sure many find calling out ridiculous trans behavior and the more stupid aspects of the ideology as your standard go-to to be very comforting, if being comforting is your intent? You can be a bit acerbic at times, (said as a friend who isn't much better).
You're right. My intent is not to be comforting, excapt in extremis. I was hoping you, or others, or maybe all of us working together might find a way.....a better way, than the standard WPATH method which again IMHO, is an abomination constructed by PC control monsters who can't tie their shoes without permission from "THE COMMITTEE"

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Not saying for a second that I’m not a bit caustic as well and maybe even most of the time or that I don’t have the same opinions and don’t do the exact same thing or that people don't find me often offensive but in some ways you’re almost a bigger TERF than I am!  ::)

Okay maybe not TERF? I've made up a new acronym: TRACT - Transgender Radical Activism Critical Transsexual

Okay, pot calling the kettle black here. I just don't want you and I to run people off because we can be so critical at times. I think we both want to be helpful but are we or are we rabble-rousers and instigators?

Your thoughts?

My thoughts? My thoughts are, l glad your back and we are both in a place where we can speak freely, and may a we can help a few people.

Offline MaryT

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #15 on: May 17, 2020, 11:57:02 AM »
...
It occurs to me that I might already be dead.

You are not dead but I can understand you questioning whether you exist, if you have had to read or listen to loads of people, even some transgender people, saying that you can't possibly be a woman, not because you were AMAB but because your experience has been different from theirs. 

Times change.  Many times more westerners transition in childhood now than in the past.  Does it mean that the vast majority of those children are deluded because 50 years ago, only a tiny percentage of them would have transitioned at the same age?  When they are older, they will not have to listen to such implications from fellow transgender people, because most of them will have had similar experiences of transition.

People who disagree with me are entitled to express their opinions and I hope that they are not driven away, either.

I don't often follow my own advice but let's not rise to the bait or allow anyone to make us feel bad, inferior or deluded.  You are not dead, you do exist, you are the sole judge of what you are, and your judgment is correct.   


 


Offline Complete

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #16 on: May 17, 2020, 12:16:23 PM »
There are people who don't look female enough to have worked this successfully before, who want to exist too and they don't want to hide.
Gangs are safety.  Not everyone can be  top dog.  Or a lone wolf

Agreed

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Some of these people seem to,  despite whatever conflicts or whatever they were feeling, were still able to function, create, control, and exert authority in this world. As men.  Once into a vulnerable place they try to enforce/fight whatever they percieve as being against them or their beliefs., They are invoking these powers.  But to what end?

Male privilege?
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What consequence to others who don't share their thinking or experience but might (probably) be categorized as same? Have loud group voices like these  helped make procedures more accessible?

I think, they have just managed to muddy the waters and make things much more difficult for those who need only to have their genitalia reconstructed to match who the already are.
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Or are they just inspiring future round ups and internments in retaliation?

I hope not!

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I attended an event in Madison WI USA.
Hordes of people sitting on their butts strangely snapping their fingers (applauding?) someone beautiful from TV who was born a boy.  Based on their current expression, this person could keep their mouth shut and few would ever know.  An inspiring symbol for people who are insisting on being called things that they are not and do not resemble.

Inspiring perhaps, but unattainable for most. Does this not further foster a feeling of perceived inequality and injustice?
Might this not create a division between the "haves" ("passing privilege"), and "have nots"?

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What will the Chinese robots say?

It occurs to me that I might already be dead.

Who? What?

Offline Maddie

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #17 on: May 17, 2020, 02:20:50 PM »
Male privilege?
I see.  People "invoking these powers" might be doing so attempting to reassert said privilege in their new character/identity.

Inspiring perhaps, but unattainable for most. Does this not further foster a feeling of perceived inequality and injustice?
Might this not create a division between the "haves" ("passing privilege"), and "have nots"?
Well, it kind of explains my feelings at that shindig.  They were sour and grapy.

Who? What?
AI
Drones
Personal data
Recognition software

Emotion and memory upload into a matrix. 
Continuing sentience after body's life signs cease

(Sad state of affairs)
Head up moving forward

Offline zirconia

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #18 on: May 17, 2020, 06:01:00 PM »
Maddie,

I suddenly found I have two weeks of as-of-yet unallotted time on my hands, so I guess I'll join in...

There are people who don't look female enough to have worked this successfully before, who want to exist too and they don't want to hide.

This has always puzzled me. Seeing people who to me looked, sounded and acted like men dressed in women's clothes demanding to be called women made me incredibly afraid. Because to me a woman was someone whom I categorize as a woman. But I guess there's a hint in there...

You see, it also took me ages to stop correcting people when they categorized me as female... because I'd already once written myself off as a perished seed, already lost and damned. While their perception did offer me consolation I did not want to feed what I still felt to be no longer possible.

So... it can be hard to realize it's really others who always decide what they see us as. And that it's entirely up to them. If that categorization matches one's need and nature, then accepting the truth is lovely. If it doesn't... well, I guess that's when one either accepts both the truth and one's needs anyway, and forges ahead regardless of what others think... or insists that everyone joins the make-believe...


You know... writing this in a way clarified to me the core reason why the concept transgender woman bothers me. It's self-assigned. And gives all bearers an automatic excuse to assert membership in the girl group. A tool for legitimising something that others would not otherwise accept. And is fuzzy enough to be almost all-inclusive.

It was when I realized how hilariously convoluted everything had become that I wrote this...


Where I live there are a few other historical terms that designate various types of people. Terms that are not yet derogatory... although social justice warriors are now hard at work trying to make them so. So... I sort of suspect some other name than trans women... an English version of hijra, say... just might make acceptance for those whom Joe Public can't see as women much more easily found elsewhere also. If only political correctness should allow it...

Gangs are safety.  Not everyone can be  top dog.  Or a lone wolf
I hope this isn't completely off... but might the safety of gangs be about unity and homogeneity? Where do you think the need to be the top dog stems from?  Also... might not those who can't belong of necessity become lone wolves...?

Some of these people seem to,  despite whatever conflicts or whatever they were feeling, were still able to function, create, control, and exert authority in this world. As men.  Once into a vulnerable place they try to enforce/fight whatever they percieve as being against them or their beliefs., They are invoking these powers.  But to what end?

What consequence to others who don't share their thinking or experience but might (probably) be categorized as same?

Complete said it above, I think...

Have loud group voices like these  helped make procedures more accessible? 
Or are they just inspiring future round ups and internments in retaliation?

What do you think?

All I can say is that where I am, SRS is now practically free. But I'm paying my own way elsewhere, because what's on offer wouldn't enable me to feel whole. I've never needed a nice new car. This costs no more, and is worth absolutely everything I have.

I attended an event in Madison WI USA.
Hordes of people sitting on their butts strangely snapping their fingers (applauding?) someone beautiful from TV who was born a boy.  Based on their current expression, this person could keep their mouth shut and few would ever know.
An inspiring symbol.  For people who are insisting on being called things that they are not and do not resemble.

I'm sorry but you lost me here... Was what was on display something locally famous? How did it make you yourself feel?

Emotion and memory upload into a matrix. 
Continuing sentience after body's life signs cease

It occurs to me that I might already be dead.

That really sounds like a weird place... Do try to stay away from it.
I truly hope you can find your way.

Edit: Accuracy
« Last Edit: May 18, 2020, 02:13:55 AM by zirconia »

Offline Maddie

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Re: A Sad State of Affaurs
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2020, 11:43:29 AM »
Hi Zirconia. 
As it is, I am an in-between gender looking kind of person. 
Trying to check myself from expectations how others read me, and  be comfortable as myself.
Sometimes I get sensitive when I think people are expecting me to take offense over pronouns.  Or if I think someone is  following me or watching to make sure I don't go follow their kids into the women's room.  Or the men's room.  Or the family unisex baby changing area.  It's stressful, and of course wish it was never an issue.

Have not thought much about top dogs' needs. I assume at it's base that it is about reproduction aka survival

Yes I think active voices have made changes in availability of treatment.  I'm pretty sure it created most of  the availability.

 I hope this isn't all  heading to roundups, torture, or death.  Lately I've been trying to communicate with someone reaching out from the middle East and through looking into it, I'm getting the impression that it is very dangerous for non confirming people there. Secret police, executions, etc  It is not a huge stretch to imagine  hate fear ideology leading to police action to swell in power again elsewhere on this beautiful ball of burning gas.  Not sure if silence helps though. My believe is that angry activists can scare people too, contributing to a cycle.  Ebb and flow is cool, escalation not good.
Closer to home (too close) I witness abuse of authority in enforcement. They are fighting back.   It doesn't seem like much of a stretch unfortunately.

Are you pursuing a different method of SRS than is covered for free?  Or did you mean other procedures that cost as much as a car?  I love my car, but would be wary of any surgery I could buy with it.
I get what you're saying though.

The event I attended was an actress and singer named Laverne Cox addressing a large crowd including many University students.  There was talk of struggle and oppression.   At the time, I felt a wave of repulsion to this environment. 
Complete's reply, what I read from it,  helped me see that part of my feelings were self-pity,  and envy.  Not just of  the celebrity speaker but the students in the audience too.

Thank you for the concern.  I'm trying to avoid weird dark places.  Sometimes it takes being in a distorted mindset (where everyone is against me, etc) to bring me to communicate.

I will check your link when I'm ready for some more convolution.  Enjoy your two weeks unallottment  :)
Head up moving forward