Hello my friends

[Antisthenes]

     I don't have a lot to share. I'm Elisabeth's buddy and am actually here because she told me about this little place. She mentioned that it was open in the regard that merely having an opinion or belief won't send you to banishland. My interest was piqued and so here I am. I hope to interact with all of you at the appropriate time and as the opportunity arises.  HAGD!

[Complete]

Friends with Elisabeth carries good weight with me. Welcome. You can read my old posts from the start if your interested in what l've been willing to share. The same applies to most everyone else here. Will you share a bit of yourself with us?

[Antisthenes]

Hi Complete, Thank you. . I am pretty cookie cutter. Another late transitioned tranner.  I have run the gamut of the forums and am here mostly because Elisabeth is. I'm not her intellectual equal so the content I post will most likely not set anything on fire. I just wanted to test all this out as it has been some time since I have forayed into a forum setting and E said this one has real promise. I am better at questions than I am at answers so I bery much look forward to learning things here. I notice that you and Dena, like Elisabeth are long past most of what many here are in the midst of. In fact, it doesn't really appear we share the same paradigms at all. I've learned much from Elisabeth and I think perhaps if only vicariously, she's been helped a tiny bit by me? I love bridges and hope to cross some and help build some while I'm here. I'm of the mind that after an age, unlearning what I think I know comes to be the basis of real learning, albeit with a skeptics heart?
      Peace to all and I very much look forward to all of our interactions.

[Dena]

Welcome to TransHaven. Yes, I hate to ban members however spammers can be quite entertaining. The game is to see how quickly you can get the ban in place as often they are attempting to make as many posts as possible.

As for opinions, I have been there and done that. 4.5 years moderating on a site where I wasn't permitted to express my political opinions. What was worst is my opinions were the opposite of the site owner. I decide to do so because I was there to help others and I could talk politics on other sites. I hope to be a little more open here but don't worry, I am open to other viewpoints. It's the only way to test your view of the world and sometimes you learn something you didn't know.

We are just getting started but we hope to grow by offering a place where one can receive help and you're free to express yourself. It would be a very boring world if everybody thought the same way.

[Antisthenes]

I was part of that "Site" for some time and it was what led me away from forum formats. Ultimately,I felt that there was an ulterior motive there by the owner and none of her motivations involved altruistic endeavors.

[Elisabeth]

I don't have a lot to share. I'm Elisabeth's buddy...

Name dropper!

So you're a Greek philosopher now, eh? Don't worry, I wasn't up to your intellectual competence enough to know who that was until Mr. Google showed me the way. I came across a quote from them that seems appropriate to the tone of some of the discussions here?

The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue.

You're already a step ahead of the game in that regard. You tell me all the time I'm full of bullsh!t and nonsense but that's why we're pals.. I guess? 

But hey, anyone that can put up with me whining through epic length emails over the same stupid MGTOW man for the last few years and all my other life’s trials and tribulations is okay in my book. Either that or she’s a glutton for punishment? 

Welcome friend, I'm glad you're here and ready to rumble!

--E

[Kiera]

. . Elisabeth's buddy and am actually here because she told me about this little place.

     

Hello and Welcome! Am unsure how to pronounce
"A n t i s t h e n e s"
will need help on that one but, in any event, I too invited someone else here today . .

      A member from my local therapist's "ZOOM group" named "Keri' and assured her this place (oops sorry bad 'vibe') this space IS different actually
All My Ideal Forum Dreams have come true!

Cheers Kiera
(ps: i see your count is already that's Dena/Christine for ya!)

[Antisthenes]

An tis thun eez... As Elisabeth already pointed out, I totally ripped off a Greek Philosopher of his handle. He's dead so I don't think he cares? Basically the philosophy comprises an open mind and jaundiced eye. He's Socrates ethicicist ?....Thanks for the welcome Kiera...see you around the "space"  .

[Elisabeth]

Things I wanted to add now that my 3:30pm breakfast has hit my bloodstream and a few of my crusty synapses have begun to awaken and fire.

I am pretty cookie cutter. Another late transitioned tranner.

Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a little more woke and self-aware than your average bear and have put up with me, a punk snottyass transkid elitist getting in your face all the time and we’ve only wanted to stab the other in the throat a on a half a dozen occasions in the last few years which is saying something?

From you, I have learned a level of understanding and compassion about “late transition tranners” previously unknown and at least on an intellectual level, my thinking has been expanded and I’ve been making strides at not being such a total dick to “your type” through our getting to know one another and I appreciate that.

I’m still though what you kindly call “an adorable troll”.  You know it and I know it and those that haven’t figured it out yet soon will! Regardless, you’ve been a good friend and I ♥ you man! [/lovefest]

Now I’ll go back to being my punkass snotty transkid elitist self lest my reputation become tarnished.

Cheers! 

[Antisthenes]

*Sniff *  thanks, man!

[Kiera]

. . totally ripped off a Greek Philosopher of his handle. He's dead so I don't think he cares?

An tis thun eez,

         Thx! Will address so 'til actual 'get it'! lol Apparently repetition helps if a tad "damaged". Ya got me goin' on an ancient philosophy kick once again . . a welcome break from "transsexual"!

Are you indeed a "student of"?

[Complete]

From Antithenis:

To revel in my raison de' etre. I spent a lifetime examining why I might be the way I was. After a lifetime of living through furtiveness, addiction and regret.... to finally find myself here, I actually have been basking in the rest

I am happy you found your way to a haven for, if you will, of those who have actually suffered much of the same of what you describe above....yet perhaps, not for a "lifetime".
The good news is you can perhaps find a new way to approach what ails you😎

[Complete]

l have just recently been saddened and disappointed to learn that Antisthenes has moved on. I really do hope it was not something I said and yet, l have to wonder...What caused this rather abrupt departure?
This loss, and yes, l do consider her departure a significant loss, has been troubling me all day. I consider this a significant loss because this woman, managed somehow, to delay, for decades, what for some is inevitable.
How was this done? How did she fare? I have been told, even in just her few words, that she is "doing fine". She has moved through that difficult and painful process of transition and left it behind. She has moved into what l call the "real" or "normal" world, having left the "transosphere", far behind.
Perhaps she came here looking for some insight into just what that was all about. Or maybe not. Maybe she just wanted to compare notes with others who might have walked a similar, (or different) path. Chances are, we will never know. This look into the life and transition of someone who did what is nearly impossible....late in life...is now lost.
There is so much that might has been learned. A pity.

[Elisabeth]

She has moved into what l call the "real" or "normal" world, having left the "transosphere", far behind.

^^This.

Other than that, no comment.

[zirconia]

Antisthenes,

I think one of your friends once told me a tiny bit about you and how you met. Not much, but enough to make me feel interest. I'm afraid I offended her at the time with a light-hearted and badly worded comment after a cursory search of your posts on Susan's. I'm not sure whether she told you about it, or whether she accepted that I meant it to not disparage you but to acknowledge her, as our conversation ended with my next reply to her. But the fact that the two of you did become friends intrigued me even then.

You say you're pretty cookie cutter... but I don't think so. Most people on the boards seem to make it their home. You did not. Instead you achieved what you needed and then went on with life. From what I've seen that seems to be a rare achievement. And your statement that you've found peace is to me very important. It's what I hope every one of us can achieve. What I believe most of us are looking for... and relatively few seem to find.

I read your post on my thread several times after I couldn't PM you a link I found to the book you asked for... and it started to feel a bit like a farewell address. If you wish to leave because you're not interested, I do understand. However, your initial post seemed to indicate that you did look forward to interaction. If the latter is true, then logically it's likely that our words have made you change your mind.

I don't know whether you remember me from Susan's. I always felt out of place. While I don't know what triggered your decision to delete you account there I do understand your wish to distance yourself from the transosphere as a whole. I also said my farewells once, a bit over a month ago. But when Dena opened this forum I hoped to hold more open and interesting conversations not bogged down by adherence to any particular dogma. Where it would be possible to disagree without people piling up on each other.

You obviously are under no obligation to tell what it is... but if you don't mind, it would be nice to know what made you feel that you'd prefer not to interact after all.

I do hope it wasn't something I said. And in any case welcome you should you want to talk again...

zirconia

[Dena]

The question here seems to be what happened here. I don't have direct contact with Antisthenes so I don't know much more about this than you do. There is something I have known for many years that has always determined how I responded to those venturing out of the closet for the first time.

Many of you have alway known what you were and what you needed to do. The problem you faced was getting around the obstacles that were in you path. For some fear of the unknown can be greater than the fear of death. Emotions are on a knife edge and it takes very little to tip decisions one way or the other.

The problem is it's difficult to determine the state of mind of somebody who is joining for the first time. The front they put up may not indicate that their emotions are on the edge of crashing and the least little remark could cause everything to come crashing down. In a much larger forum, this isn't as much of a problem because you can fade back into the crowd until you're ready to face others. Here it's possible to receive more attention than you're able to handle.

Being silent isn't the solution. Instead, keep the conversation light, answer questions and be helpful. Save the deeper discussions until we know each other better. You will know when this is by the topics the new member engages in.

Antisthenes needs some time to think things though. The little peek of our site has greatly disturbed her view of the world so she has much to consider. I don't know if she will return to us or prefer to remain in the world as she knows it. If she doesn't return, I hope she can find happiness. If she does return, she is more than welcome. She showed a good deal of courage joining us and I hope her short stay with us was beneficial.

We will leave her account active for a few more days should she decide to rejoin us but if she doesn't, we will honor her deletion request.