Recent Posts

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Real life Experience Male to Female / Re: where it's at now
« Last post by Maddie on Yesterday at 12:53:20 PM »
I present as female (well I think so).
Legalities and HRT too, but no operation.

This is a work in progress.
Research is work.

Men and women hit on me. Not putting up with much right now, especially not from women. I know where that road gets me, and heck I was already equipped for that.

Guys are dirt or afraid oh well.

I don't hold strong hopes for finding a relationship, nor am I proposing this to anyone on this forum.
But wondering if this sounds like a fair deal...?

I want a guy to play with my little breasts and spank me in exchange for backscratches and blowjobs.

If they just want to vent on me their problems in one-way fashion, they need to pay up front.

Sound generally like a fair trade?
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Coming Out of the Closet / Re: Over and over
« Last post by Maverick on Yesterday at 02:44:15 AM »
Thank you Dena.
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Blogs / Re: Christine's Transition Adventures
« Last post by Christine on August 05, 2020, 11:25:49 PM »
Hi Folks,                   05 August 2020

Completed orbit of el Sol hoy.

Getting late, lots to do tomorrow.

Best Always, Love

Christine
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Blogs / Re: Christine's Transition Adventures
« Last post by Christine on August 04, 2020, 11:03:13 PM »
Hi Folks,                  04 August 2020

Had my annual VA medical checkup today via phone. What a joy that was. We discussed my recent checkup with my Endo. I mentioned my new script for Estradiol patches. Long story short, the VA will no longer supply me female hormones because I had a DVT even though the Hematologist at Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas, my Hematologist here where I live and my Endo all agree it is safe for me to be on Estradiol as long as I remain on Xarelto, the anticoagulant.

My insurance covers it so $27.00 $47.00 per month is something I can handle; I'll just cut down on the junk food. I currently spend more than that each month on cookies, desserts, soda and other junk food. I need to lose 20 pounds so this could be a good thing.

That's where things are at the moment. I know one thing, I am sick of the rioting and bull shit demonstrating and the damn China Virus, which is aptly named as that's where that shit was turned loose on the world.

Think of it this way, China is approximately the same physical size as the USA, We have about 350 million people, China has over 1 Billion. They could lose 300 million and it would hardly make a dent and they could care less, as long as they destroy most of the populations of the western world. Think about it; if you believe they are our friends, you are living in La-La land.

Best Always, Love

Christine

EDIT - Correction of prescription copay Christine 06 Aug 2020
5
General Topics / Re: Zirconia just joined the Susan's Permaban Club!
« Last post by zirconia on August 02, 2020, 08:59:51 PM »
Hi, Karen

While I am someone who tries not to be or sound cruel, I am someone who does not sugar coat things, either to myself or others. I say what I believe to be true, though I try to say it in a way that does not cause UNNECESSARY pain. And if it looks like what I say won't really be considered I don't bother, which why I did not go into what I mentioned earlier.

It's good to hear you don't sugar coat things. That's what put me so at ease about Complete. That—and of course the fact that she understood exactly how I felt and why. It felt amazing to talk with someone like that after listening to all the theory and dogma that overflowed on the forums.

That is in the eye of the beholder,  I guess, as I don't see things that way nor intended them to be.

Yes... it is in the eye of the beholder. The way you approach and explain things is very similar to how my favorite teacher led us to solve problems in class. But of course both he and we had the same textbooks. The main difference I feel is that in this case you have your thirty years of online experience to draw on, and I only my own story. Plus of course the confusion caused by the fact that it did not at all seem to match what I found on the forums.

The ones for whom that was an immediate driving force were mostly pretty young (I have no idea how old you are... but for some reason I don't think you are in your early or mid 20's or younger), but it was not theonly factor... but a strong sex drive when young tends to be a significant push.

Hmmmm.... interesting. I only felt antipathy toward sex until I was prescribed estradiol. While men had approached me before, and it did feel nice I hadn't even seriously thought of responding. But that changed Very Quickly... LOL.

As to how they handled it, well all over the map. From refraining because they could not bear to be sexual with male genitalia , to finding a guy who could deal with such limitations, to finding one that could deal with the current physicality... And while some found men who would stick with them after SRS, it was not uncommon to hear that the guy loses interest and leaves after SRS regardless of what he said before...  In any case some happy endings but lot's of heartbreak too...

That sounds not too different, then. I'm glad to say that even throughout passion I've been treated very gently and considerately. Although I must not be the only one frustrated by the inability to consummate. Still... my body sings just thinking of every touch.

But, once again, it's getting ever harder to retain the boundaries. And that's mainly what I was interested in hearing about.

One thing to remember, no matter the passion at first, long term sex is not the most important thing in a relationship... and it can make one emotionally very vulnerable.

To me the combination of vulnerability and feeling of absolute safety is what makes it so lovely. But of course that's just me.

Pre-op it's very complicated it seems. I would have never contemplated it pre-op... If my marriage had failed 20 years ago, and I had passed well enough i certainly would have explored that path in depth. What exploring i did before I knew the marriage would survive let me know ...

But as I implied above, for me sex is not the most important thing about a relationship. Having a deep emotionally intimate bond is more important than a physical one or having sex at all IMO.

Hmmmm... now that my body's awakened, I really can't imagine not needing sex. But from what I've heard, with the right partner it does develop into an even more deep thing... not merely physical, but something even more fulfilling. I hope I'll find someone who can give me that, and to whom I can also offer the same. Even now, even knowing that the love I've experienced cannot be permanent or even lasting, the closeness is incredible. I can only imagine what it may be like once I'm made whole.

Complete,

I think I may understand Karen some. What she describes sounds a bit similar to what I felt like before hormones. I saw both girls and boys as just friends... some closer than others. The really close ones felt as close as family... but with no real sexual motivation on my side. Although I could perform if I really felt I needed to to make the other person happy. But I didn't at all understand erotic attraction. The maleness of my body revolted me.

So the closeness had to be emotional. Since my body was wrong, even if the other party was attracted to me it could never truly be physical.

It always comes back to the fact that we all are different, doesn't it? Some are not at all into sex, and some are. I'd never have believed how much I like belonging to the second group until it actually happened... LOL

Removed Quote from Complete's deleted post - Edit by Christine 03 Aug 20
6
Coming Out of the Closet / Re: Over and over
« Last post by Dena on August 02, 2020, 08:39:33 PM »
In the past, coming out was something pretty uncommon. In the last 4 years or so, it seems like it's all over the news and everybody knows somebody who came out or is transitioning. Another issue is people are polite and if they aren't sure if somebody wants to talk about a subject, they remain slient. If you want the conversation, you will probably have to tell a little story and invite questions/conversations.

It would be nice if I could give you some encouraging words about your husband, but some relationships just don't work out. MTF relationships normally run about 50/50 and while I haven't seen that much about FTM relationships, I suspect the outcomes might not be as good. With testosterone, a fair portion of attraction is eye candy and to a lesser degree, emotional attachment. What your husbands balance is, will be something both of you will need to determine. It will probably take a strong emotional attachment if you are to remain together.

There probably  isn't much advice I can give you on how to handle the problem but if I can help you, let me know.
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General Topics / Re: Zirconia just joined the Susan's Permaban Club!
« Last post by Christine on August 02, 2020, 12:37:24 PM »
While I am someone who tries not to be or sound cruel, I am someone who does not sugar coat things, ether to myself or others. I say what I believe to be true, though I try to say it in a way that does not cause UNNECESSARY pain. And if it looks like what I say won't really be considered I don't bother, which why I did not go into what I mentioned earlier.
.
One thing to remember, no matter the passion at first, long term sex is not the most important thing in a relationship... and it can make one emotionally very vulnerable.
.
But as I implied above, for me sex is not the most important thing about a relationship. Having a deep emotionally intimate bond is more important than a physical one or having sex at all IMO.

-Karen

@karen_A
Hi Karen,                  02 August 2020

Thank you so much for your beautiful comments. Years ago, for me it was sex and only sex. Eventually, I figured out sex was only a very small part of a relationship. A Deep and Loving Emotional Bond is What Truly Matters the Most; it is What will Insure the Relationship Endures.

God Bless You Young Lady and Thank You Again!

Best Always, Love

Christine
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Coming Out of the Closet / Over and over
« Last post by Maverick on August 02, 2020, 10:28:54 AM »
It feels like I’m coming out of the closet over and over. Maybe it will be done when I have had my operations.

I put a picture of me, the pride colors and the trans flag on facebook. Noone’s asked me about the flag yet. But 50 people have liked the picture.

It was coming out in secret. Or with a clue.

My husband did not like the picture. He wants to keep me ”a woman ”. *sigh* this shit is going just one way. And that is crashing. Hard. 
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General Topics / Re: Zirconia just joined the Susan's Permaban Club!
« Last post by karen_A on August 02, 2020, 08:56:24 AM »

And... you were not by my side when I could do nothing but cry... but had you been, I hope I'm right in that you'd have said something other than what you've said during this conversation.

While I am someone who tries not to be or sound cruel, I am someone who does not sugar coat things, either to myself or others. I say what I believe to be true, though I try to say it in a way that does not cause UNNECESSARY pain. And if it looks like what I say won't really be considered I don't bother, which why I did not go into what I mentioned earlier.

Quote
So... if you feel any similarities between my thinking and Complete's are due to her being my master, I must gently repeat: You've acted more as such in this short while than she has during the entire time since we met.

That is in the eye of the beholder,  I guess, as I don't see things that way nor intended them to be.


Quote
By the way... (and this question does stem from curiosity and laziness since I don't feel like searching for and joining those forums just for this) what percentage was motivated to transition by the need to have heterosexual sex? And how did they handle the situation before SRS?

The ones for whom that was an immediate driving force were mostly pretty young (I have no idea how old you are... but for some reason I don't think you are in your early or mid 20's or younger), but it was not theonly factor... but a strong sex drive when young tends to be a significant push.

As to how they handled it, well all over the map. From refraining because they could not bear to be sexual with male genitalia , to finding a guy who could deal with such limitations, to finding one that could deal with the current physicality... And while some found men who would stick with them after SRS, it was not uncommon to hear that the guy loses interest and leaves after SRS regardless of what he said before...  In any case some happy endings but lot's of heartbreak too...

One thing to remember, no matter the passion at first, long term sex is not the most important thing in a relationship... and it can make one emotionally very vulnerable.

Pre-op it's very complicated it seems. I would have never contemplated it pre-op... If my marriage had failed 20 years ago, and I had passed well enough i certainly would have explored that path in depth. What exploring i did before I knew the marriage would survive let me know ...

But as I implied above, for me sex is not the most important thing about a relationship. Having a deep emotionally intimate bond is more important than a physical one or having sex at all IMO.

-Karen
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Blogs / Re: Christine's Transition Adventures
« Last post by Maddie on August 02, 2020, 06:56:12 AM »
Thank you for sharing this info Christine.
Fortunate you were in communication with someone in your life (and that someone is who they are).

Hope you are  stuck on those meds for a long time.

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